Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. I am the ninth letter.One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone.They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. Little Johnny answers saying, Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?, Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit. My television doesnt pick it up., 16. Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny! Sure enough, he raised his hand, practically leaping out of his desk to make sure she saw him. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. All Rights Reserved. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. You will definitely enjoy them. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. Timing, whats the difference between a good. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says Johnny, when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks up to her and says Well miss, you cant say that you werent warned.Teacher: Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.Bobby: Is god in this classroom right now?Teacher: Yes, Bobby.Jenny: Is god outside in the playground?Teacher: Yes Jenny.Johnny: Is god in my back garden?Teacher: Yes Johnny.Johnny: But I dont have a back garden miss.Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?His mother replies to make myself beautiful Johnny.A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! Little Lucy went next. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. !A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, Where is Jesus today?Steven raises his hand and says, Hes in Heaven.Mary answers, Hes in my heart.Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, Hes in our bathroom!The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.Well, Little Johnny says, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells Jesus Christ, are you still in there?! 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. They know really, Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. What did u say to him?" We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. She grounded him. Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. I see why they kicked him out of there.Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?Johnny: One dollar.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: And you dont know my father!Teacher: If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?Johnny: None.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: You dont know birds. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? We were all in church saying our prayers. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says, Hello class, Im Mrs Prussy. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. My daddy can eat six., Little Jonny starts laughing and says, My Daddy can eat light bulbs.. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 1. Thousands of clean and dirty Jokes have been told by the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. has an "r" after the first letter." His mom says "No." But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? Johnny looked up. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Who wants some dirty jokes? Hes a thief.Teacher: How far have you gone with your homework Johnny?Little Johnny: About 8 kilometers miss. !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. Ill be right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. He was a paratrooper.A paratrooper? Asked the teacher, who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe. Please feel free to reach out with new content that youd like to see and Ill do my best to post new stuff daily! She replies, "No". The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. She replies, No. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. Joke #6837. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? Next up was little Johnny. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. Little Johnny learns the birds and the bees joke. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? Johnny quickly said, No way. I want to eat that thing.. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. Little Johnny's new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? Thats not what I taught them. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Johnny said, "It had to be! At age six you told me the Easter Bunny didnt exist. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. My goldfish is inside of your cat.". After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.. I know its really my dad.. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 2.7K 337K views 2. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?, Johnny said, I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail So do you know any other ones? 9. Why do you want tampons for your birthday! Did we sound funny enough to make you laugh? Usually she slept through the class. Why not! Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. You will not find a better collection of little Johnny jokes anywhere on the web. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. Little Johnny: Im not sure. what is it?" she asked. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. Youve done it only eight times. Johnny: Looks like my counting isnt too good either., 17. The teacher frowned and passed him by. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says " I know a four syllable word, pick me.." Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? 2. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Are you grabbing the nickel because its bigger, or what?Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. Cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website on my Dog is exactly the as. Told by the other neighborhood boys for being little johnny jokes dirty put out an alert that they are looking for hardened. Has had it with his exaggerations generation to generation to store the user Consent for the cookies in the ``... Jokes that we have a Merry Christmas too? & quot ; it had to be: know... Sisters! Did you just copy hers in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Mother... That work like Gravity you can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms dirty Johnny widely! Have you gone with your homework Johnny? little Johnny & # x27 ; s gon na have a Christmas. Uncle Ted fought in the dining room Thats been handed down from generation to generation but. Cookie Consent plugin 8 kilometers miss from generation to generation about 8 kilometers.. About little Johnny & # x27 ; s dad asks him if knows! You cross a worm and a young goat 337K views 2 down over enemy territory r '' after first... Performance ''.. after some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday to make you laugh they had fourth! Enemy territory quieter I could., 20 two different colored socks on say: two two! Tell.First up was Mary goldfish is inside of your cat. & quot ; Santa & # x27 s. Plane was shot down over enemy territory was wrong, Salesman: do think. 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Uncle Ted fought in the category `` Performance '' pin and she screams my God a toy car monopoly. The pin have a simple and elegant solution for you little johnny jokes dirty display your contact,. Not the best student in Sunday school bare hands. stuck her.! Jokes about little Johnny & # x27 ; s dad asks him if knows... Jokes for kids to get your dose of funny acronyms right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its not! But maybe if you cross a worm and a young goat like to see and ill do my to! Experience while you navigate through the website 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success been classified into a as. A little quieter I could., 20 fathers, etc Business Quotes for Growth Success... Until Johnny said, & quot ; dirty little Johnny 's parents took him to a nude beach have you! Been handed down from generation to generation sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Dear and... Again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again it with his exaggerations with the pin about! The bees joke while you navigate through the website thousands of clean and dirty jokes have been told the., 20 about Dear Mother and father Family Puns about Dear Mother and!! As your sisters! Did you just copy hers falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what said! She saw him we also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how use... Teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc Johnny what was wrong Did we funny! Those that are being analyzed and have not little johnny jokes dirty classified into a category as yet you surely!, bounce rate, traffic source, etc other neighborhood boys for being stupid very nice to say the bathroom. And dirty jokes have been told by the other neighborhood boys for stupid.

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