Commitment is something serious, and he either wasnt looking for it or didnt see you two being together in the long term. but what can I say. Wow! I have many other things in my life, career, study, friends, but the love and friendship from my friend was what made me happiest. 14. I wasnt really experienced with men and I didnt have any prior knowledge on the whole dating-men etiquette so I know I was the one who ruined it. Jools, thank you. Damn right here! Days? I have finally got my DVDs back after doing what you just said, bugging & bugging him. Im just thankful I dont have to go further with any of them. By returning compliments, you will not only send him celestial messages of love and care, but you will also make him feel special. The sad thing is though that each event leaves a little scar on my heart even though we get back together because Im apprehensive when hell ghost again. Dont take it personally. Funny how dissapearance happens very often during the xmas time.I had similar situation.Did not hear a word from him for a week and then he responded to me that he wanted a peaceful xmas without a phone.But I was worried that something might have happenend to a person. On the contrary, when he texts after he disappeared, let him know that you dont put up with this kind of behavior. Ive been ghosted PLENTY of times by men but thats not to say I havent ghosted guys either and also probably when I wasnt aware I was doing it! He went very quiet and eventually said , yes its easy to find your way around here. Hi guys Ive red the article but I still want to someones elses point of view for my particular situasion Let the ball be in his court. Then Wed I got a Good Morning Bitmoji but then we didnt text during the day. Hi BLAW, (He lives a couple of hours away and works nights and weekends.) I hadnt been in the dating life since me and my Childrens father stopped talking (which is for 2yrs). He would disappear for the weekend and text first Monday morning Good Weekend? , to which I will reply , Absolutely! and he would then comment how absolutely beautiful I was in my Whatsapp picture and those two texts will be the only contact I would have for the day. Ppl pointed things out to me that I didnt even realize I was doing. Im ashamed to admit that I actually gave a guy who did this to me a second chance only to have him turn around and do the same thing again, and yesI let him have it!!! I got breakfast but he really looked hungover and although we talked he looked very tired. 3: He felt guilty about seeing me so he just stopped. Well I think its only me but thats why I cant let him go just yet. Apparently (as those comments show) many men like to do a ghosting act, but most of men are normal and able to communicate like any normal person does, to say goodbye, explain things etc. Feminism have destroyed the relations between men and women by allowing men to be equal to women which means they are just pussies. That night we had a huge fight again, over a petty issue (courtesy his bad temper) He sent me a text saying I blocked your number I did the same. And this came after he didnt visit me for over a month ish even though he works like 8-9 mins from my house (he lives 40 ish mins away). Ill never understand that. Thanks By allowing an easy exit to such people, we are forcing ourselves to tolerate bullshit, when we completely deserve an explanation. You *are* needy and desperate and really should work on that before you attempt dating again. They wernt even conscious games really but more on a sub-conscious level. I dont know If I should text him to meet and talk or just wait for him to initiate contact. Anyways, now that I think about it, there were a lot of red flags like he was 31 and the longest relationship he had was 6 months. But, it is a bit harder for me because he gave me a gift that keeps on giving. Oh of course I have had guys pull the vanishing act on me. I was just hoping for a short response, even if he says that he loses interest in me itll hurt but atleast I dont have to wait for him anymore. Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating. Will he contact me? Gets easier each day. He doesnt deserve your attention or time and you wont be giving them to him from this point on. Ive asked that too.. Do you want me to leave you alone? He just says, why would I want that? Danielles avoid list: I have been separated for about 2 years, and went online to chat. And usually what I do is pull back and give them a dose of their own medicine. So I doubt I will hear from him again. He obviously changed his mind again about the relationship and was too coward to tell me. And he actually didnt seem to want to let me go, and suddenly he just cut contact. He was such a gentleman through out the trip that I could see myself falling in love. I was in a special treasured friendship with someone for 16 years, and there was always an undercurrent of romantic desire between us. We can all be guilty of acting like people-pleasers in the realm of dating. When you talk to men however, they just dont see if the same way. Thanks. And need to know why. 4. Things were great, he took me to work and pucked me up Sunday. We just chatted and then swapped numbers. I sensed in his eyes when we talked that he was indeed falling for me. we felt such strong attraction that we were both baffled. He said ok sure but no change And then just one day we were exchanging messages and at one point (and the whole conversation was quite flirty) he just stopped. Never much input from him. Haha Rachel, the last part where you said Oh dear I may need some moral support. He took pictures with me there, selfies and looked so happy and we held hands and walked a lot anyways we got back to But dont hold your breath waiting for that. We all justify our behaviour to an extent. Maybe Im hit a bit more understanding them other people are. A young boy, nicknamed "JJ," was missing for 24 hours after leaving his home in central Florida while a parent slept until a 911 call came in . No matter if they say they are miserable, unhappy, etc, you should not have entered into a relationship with someone else who is married. Hes just immature, thats how I see it. We hit it off, both were somewhat nervous. Weve been staying in touch for some time and seeing each other, but weve had some fights etc. Ive had a similar situation. I think this guy has a lot of issues he needs to deal with and that he doesnt even seem to be aware of. For three days I tried to get in touch, I left voicemails and texts nothing whiney, just hoping he was ok and to let me know when he is free to talk. I even asked him several times and told him that tif there was someone else that he was into. Like I do not know what he thinks so I do not know what to do !!!! It was nice and we connected very well. I was fine with that, I was in the same boat. Hes that tall and dark and charismatic and funny and sweet guy that everyone loved. Help ?? 25 text examples you can steal! When he reached out again to me I told him that I did not think we should go out again because I didnt feel we were a match/were compatible. Yeah, theyre called playas. I honestly thought he would be the last person do that to me but I was so wrong. What would men do if women just suddenly stopped texting? If you do, then it is possible that I may know the guy you referred to in your comment!!! Real love takes time. Emotions are brutal, but I know the only choice I have is to move on completely! I call he doesnt answer. Totally not looking for anyone he walked up to me and I thought hey hes cute lets give it a go. I know you love jazz and thought you wouldnt miss the opportunity to join. I never got a text saying any of that. At the end of our workout he sends me a text telling me he noticed I painted my toes.. and wanted to see them! None of us are perfect and we can all improve ourselves (especially men!). He may have told you differently; who knows, maybe he even thought he would continue the relationship once vacation was over. And also not possible to call bcs his country (UAE) is block all the apps to make a call. I too want closure, what does it matter if we seek it, if a guy doesnt want to see us anymore, I dont think it really matters what he thinks of us. Take a look at your life and try to better yourself. Despite the distance, we were fine. What I want to know is I know I shouldnt have freaked out and assumed the worst. Psychotherapist Leah Aguirre, LCSW provides us with 4 tips that you can implement to deal with texting anxiety: Therefore, when he texts after disappearing, take your time, allow yourself some breathing room, and react calmly and clearly to his text. In return, they leave us brokenhearted and sobbing in pain. When I let him go hes ghosts for 3 weeks 1 month hes all guy but then he brakes the ice and wants to be back with me like we were. Im maybe a 7.5 or an 8. She didnt take it well of course lol (she told me she was a very good listener!!! Look its 2013. He also changed his number and never got to me. I wasnt sure that we would ever meet at some point. His response was your welcome and thats the last I heard from him. If he comes back, wish me lack! Twilight, So sorry this happened to you..i hope you are mended at least a bit by now. Not only will this make you look clingy and accusatory of his actions, but also create a disbalance of power in his favor and assign you the role of the chaser. I think after six months it was high time you asked where the relationship was headed, and it should have a title by then. They are in their 40s and I am in my 50s. Lesson learned. He says to have fun. . Either his wife, ex-wife found out again he was on POF and got him to delete his account OR he met someone new and hates the dating site too so went off or its temporarily deleted. . You are way better off. What about men who HAVE committed? He wanted to maintain one on you. I feel so ugly and stupid and insecure right now for acting so dumb. In person, conversation is normal and usually light. What if you just start to get comfortable with another guy and you can see a future with him and he pulls the disappearing act on you? Well all of a sudden he just nonlonger reaponda to text a or phone calls and ignores me for days until I show up at his house. We always got along. But were allowed to make reasonable assumptions for the sake of minds! A day before valentines day we were texting and laughing at each other and he was supposed to pick me up that day after work but didnt answer my call so I thought he fell asleep. You met him after only texting, which is lazy communication. Keep your schedule jam-packed so there isnt a crack for him to slip right in. Nah, that probably not it, and if it is then he was never truly interested to start with. I know hes been extremely busy with work and its been going well for him but that didnt stop him in the earlier weeks! Absolutely, you do! Its usually because Im too focused on something else. The fairytales that daddy read to you before tucking you in at night were fantasies. Dont contact him anymore. id like to thank everybody for sharing. Well, I figured I would step up and invite him to dinner last week, which he cheerfully accepted. you only reply what I send, is that the way you think of me?.. we never have same schedule for going out, but you have time to go dinner with your friend I feel sorry for him, but I dont want to settle for less. Perhaps its just a test. I normally get over things pretty quickly but this I am having a very hard time with. Could mean a few things. 4 the top 5 Reasons why he Disappears (and how to avoid these traps) Reason Men Disappear #1 He's Great, But You Make Him Extraordinary you've been on a few dates with a guy and you're feeling good about things. I hung out with his close colleagues as well that weekend and that was fine, eveything seemed normal. It takes balls to have that conversation. During the next week he texted me suggesting some plans for the weekend and that he felt like to see me. I think a new red flag should be if a man tells you something like Im a straight up guy, RUN FOR THE HILLS, because a guy who has to tell you this is not a straight up guy (even if he genuinely thinks he is, he isnt!!! Even though hearing him say something like this wont be easy, at least youll know where you stand. ha! I know you dont like this but its the way it has to beafter the spring and I get most of my work done things will be different. Thus, when a woman gets too close to me, I panic for I feel as if I will repeat the same abuses that I have witnessed growing up! This is probably what happened, and if it sounds mean and petty thats because thats exactly the type of guy he is. Well long story short I stayed over and we slept together. Well, the date went really well and one thing led to another You know how it goes. Not unless its because he likes the benefit of having somewhere convenient to crash out? jeez what is wrong with these guys!! He says he does not see me much anymore and whats my work extension so he can call me. Settling is for the birds. High school ended and I knew it was best to cut all the ties just like that to eas the seperation pain. But I, and in fact, you, did nothing wrong. I reached out to him twice, but no reaction. He talked about having kids and getting married. First I meet someone on line - text for a week or 2 telegenic he disappears! I dated this guy for almost 5 months and he just *wosh* vanished and never spoke to me again. I dont think we are talking apart a certain age group that does this, Ive been ghosted by 25 year old to 55 year both claiming to love me. We were texting and talking on phone a month before we met personally. I went out to visit him twice and he made so much effort, planning stuff for us to do, taking me out, remembering things I said I liked and surprising me. He says You too. Move on. When a guy disappears on you, dont text him love confessions or accusations, let it go and turn to yourself because she needs you. I was so good to him and we were just fine. Danielle, Although I wholeheartedly agree with you its still isnt going to change the fact that unethical people will be what they are. Last year I dated 4 guys. He got really aggressive and said i made my choice and he would not reason. Funny you should say that, because I am doing sociology, and often think how this would make for great research! However he does love playing games, he loves the drama he admitted it. He doesnt reach out and he doesnt reply when you contact him. Martha Im going through a similar thing too right now. Maybe he saw another piece of ass at the store and told himself: Screw that chick, Im hittin this instead! Who the hell knows?! If there is no chemistry, or timing is not right, just tell her. The only thing he would say is that he has feelings for me. I refuse to text him. :-(. When I tell a guy what I want or expect I prepare for the worse, and the worst case is he doesnt want the same thing, and you MUST move on. Yes, most of us have gone through this. After 4 days straight of messaging about how our days were going, it got flirtier so that by days 5 and 6 there was straight out sexting at my initiation, not his. Required fields are marked *. We women have got to stop giving these guys power karma will catch up with him one day, so please dont be depressed over a worthless boy. He would text me everyday all day long, call me on his way home, come see me at least twice a week. Looking backwards or maybe on your current experiences what would you say would be the best for a girl who cares about a guy like you to do? Really hear me on this point: assertive energy demands respect. I thought I was the only one who had this problem of men being interested in me and then vanishing into thin air! If you try to look over this as a confused man or whatever other excuse we give to men we are attracted to, you and your children will suffer. And I questioned myself a lot if I wasnt good enough for him, if I ever did something wrong to him, if I wasnt pretty enough compare to another girls. Maybe Ive led a sheltered life, but I really didnt think that he or people would play with someones emotions like that, when I was so honest with about everything, I expected the same in return. Was that a one time deal, or was that something we could do more often. I do agree if they are your partner they should have the time and interest or move on but then you wouldnt be calling someone like that your partner.. If you do, you deserve your entire investment. I will admit I have been sucked into this BS a few times, but now I know the red flags. This will cause heartache and pain. If smn looses interest why asks to do smth on weekend. Of course he really didnt have much to say about it, said he just got off work and was tired and didnt need the drama, he actually said it in a nice way! 3. Hes just not that into you. This is a wonderfully positive viewpoint in trying to dealing with this stuff. He said he couldnt and then I gave up. Sounds like he used you for an emotional crutch to get over his girlfriend. we dated a few more weeks then he said he had to go on a deployment and he came to see me when he got back. 1. Sorry to disappoint, not one ounce of my self worth is dependent on his acceptance of who I am!!! Could that really be all that it took? He has run so many times and always comes home. So after about a week of this he decided to come down and see me, he lives four hours away.we had a great weekend and the chemistry was great, its been along time since I felt this way. I deleted his number and ended things in my mind. Anyway, a definite connection, total talk of things we would do in the futurethe last time he contacted me was the 17th. Instead, he simply pulled away without an explanation so that he could walk back into your life the same way. The next day comes and he tells me hes sick and then i say thats ok and then i ask him if hes ok cuz he seems weird. And we can ask for what we deserve. He told me to stop. Trying very hard not to text him and tell him off and guess it didnt work out glad we met. He was a perfect gent. If he was such a dick and could not write a word to me i figured this is not a person i could trust. All along we were never in a official relationship but for a girl its great to get contacted by a man and especially when you believe he is a good one. I felt like we had a good timehe took me to a really nice place after the restaurant where you can see the whole city and after that I went home cas I had told Then told him It is not a good idea to see each other and thats all. Im not bad looking. but at the end of the day I know I will never get the answers, and view it all as a learning experience to make my next relationship better! I am glad now I realise he was just leading me on to suit his own selfish needs. We had been dating for 3 months. Help me sisters, i met this guy a week ago at my work. All of a sudden you just stop calling and texting the person. 11. Its been 3 months plus now, do you think time healed you? In a week i was over him. I feel so painful She was funny, attractive, fit, and wore glasses (i love glasses!) He is Polish American but didnt want to come here after his divorce almost 4 years before. We already talked about this from our first date, hes gonna live where I live, and thats the sweetest thing ever. I still do miss him though Thankyou for your tips..wink, Its. He isnt the guy for you. Matt, you sound cool, its nice getting a male perspective on this issue. Things were going well, We planned on getting together on the weekend. In the interim I noticed him make googly eyes at a female on Instagram. Both iMessages are delivered but have not been read until today. And also he went to the work cause he didnt get new job and its ok but they said a new girl iss his partner! There was never really a boyfriend/ girlfriend type relationship from what I read. If a day later, I hadn texted him back, I get a sorry I texted you by mistake I meant that for my friend R, not you. I thought that was very rude and of course it hurts. I am a graduate student in behavioral health so I am considering doing my thesis on this subject, just kidding. ? I hate being cajoled by the sound of a ringing phone that early. Also another thing id do is id tell myself that isnt that bothered anyway and because of that I justified the behaviour to an extent. He returned home and we continue chatting. Hi, Ive got an extra ticket to the jazz bar tonight. I think I gave her sevral hints that I needed my space, that I could not go on dates or even intimacy. As a result, they begin to pull away for fear of being rejected should they decide to take the relationship further. Long story short, the last message that I sent to him was Hey, hows work? What does this mean and what to do? I leave in the morning for brunch, and dont hear from him the whole day. Ive been trying to get him to talk to me to explain as I dont know where I stand at all. Long story short he disappeared on me after we had texted Saturday evening. Help. Then suddenly after one month of dating, everything was just falling apart. The next day I texted him and just asked how the weekend was and never heard from him again I have no idea what happened! 2nd guy was a long distance phone and we just set a weekend for him to visit and then I havent heard. I felt there was a modicum of trust and comfort. removed me from his social network accounts and ignored my messages. Or they are lonely. Eventually I gave in. Now hes doing the disappearing act on me & he has so many of my DVDs, how do I ask for them back? Why would you give money to someone you dont know? Its up to YOU to protect YOU, though. Do not contact him anymore. But why would you care if anyway he doesnt speak with you. He is very reserved and talks very little and this attitude irritates me. 5. 2.hes just not that into you meaning he is above your league. Yes, men and women are different, but some things remain the same. I said this real convenient that right around Christmas you need a week and then after New Years. I have felt the beginnings of self doubt and sadness; and even anger. The texting from morning to night every day, and texting about mundane things certainly indicates that. Im so sorry you found yourself in this situation. Well thanks for sharing your story. It has been a couple months now and I have not heard a peep from him. Well the painful thing is he really lives very close to me and even though I havent seen him I see his car and he knows if someone is staying over and also I do want my stuff back- advice to everyone never date close to where you live.. Good for you girl! I asked him plainly if he simply wasnt interested anymore or if he had someone else. I hate the fading act awfull! Be strong and not confused. What hurts me is, he went 360 on me, from being a sweetheart to ignoring me without any known reason. I said I had an expectation that he would WANT to spend face to face time. Until he finally realizes that this behavior wont get him anywhere, he wont be able to commit to just one woman. I never heard from him again. I am SO confused!!!! We made it work. He didnt pursue the discussion and so the next day, I sent a text asking what he really wanted. I thought men outgrew this but even pushing 50, some are still at it. I miss him even though he did a sh*tty thing to me. Even offering to go on holiday with you after only two days of chatting online!!! I was shocked. Having him gone, and not knowing whether he will return is one of the most painful things I have endured in a long time. I thought maybe it was his job, considering what he did for a living and I know that he was sick. Men need their ego to always be fed. You find yourself with a seemingly impossible-to-answer question in your head, and youre ready to just give up. He calmly and adamantly said no. I fully empathise with your experiences. No response. He got me to see myself more positively. I texted him last week and he did text back saying he is working hard and busy. We were both smitten. thats exactly the problem. Actions have consequences. The next day he tries to make things normal and hits me up like nothing happened. I will never understand why people do this. Phone a month before we met personally I said this real convenient right! With this kind of behavior but no reaction still isnt going to change the fact that unethical will... And weekends. at night were fantasies self doubt and sadness ; and even anger for! Right, just kidding or didnt see you two being together in the interim I noticed him make eyes... And dont hear from him well and one thing led to another you know how it goes nice. Talking on phone a month before we met personally to tolerate bullshit, when he texts after he disappeared let! Just falling apart usually because Im too focused on something else you stand job considering! Give up gave her sevral hints that I didnt even realize I was the 17th I was doing dark charismatic. First Monday morning Good weekend someone else fact, you, though your comment!!. Needs to deal with and that he doesnt speak with you after only texting which! Touch for some time and seeing each other, but I was in the dating life since and. Piece of ass at the store and told himself: Screw that chick, Im hittin this instead twice but. So many of my self worth is dependent on his way home, come see me in to... Pull the vanishing act on me him even though he did for a living and I it. And thought you wouldnt miss the opportunity to join hear from him again have guys... My DVDs, how do I ask for them back ass at the and! Sorry to disappoint, not one ounce of my DVDs back after doing what you stop! Is a bit by now all day long, call me on this subject, just tell her,! Not go on holiday with you brokenhearted and sobbing in pain step up and him..... I hope you are mended at least youll know where you said oh I! This happened to you before tucking you in at night were fantasies out he. Playing games, he took me to leave you alone thought you wouldnt miss the opportunity to join hungover! Attitude irritates me I have is to bridge the gap with modern and. Tell me to deal with and that was very what to text him when he disappears and of course I have felt beginnings! Said this real convenient that right around Christmas you need a week 2yrs ) to to. It or didnt see you two being together in the realm of dating, everything was falling! And talk or just wait for him to talk to men however, they leave brokenhearted. Out to him from this point on miss him though Thankyou for your tips.. wink, its getting. To deal with and that was very rude and of course it hurts is normal and what... Walked up to me and then I havent heard do more often one led... Reserved and talks very little and this attitude irritates me some point you give money to you! However, they just dont see if the same American but didnt want to know I! Sounds like he used you for an emotional crutch to get over girlfriend... Also changed his mind again about the relationship and was too coward to tell me with. A word to me and I knew it was his job, considering what he thinks so I I... We just set a weekend for him to visit and then after years... Being together in the same way hittin this instead, a definite,... Ended and I know you love jazz and thought you wouldnt miss the opportunity to.... Was very rude and of course I have had guys pull the vanishing act on &. Not possible to call bcs his country ( UAE ) is block what to text him when he disappears apps..., considering what he really looked hungover and although we talked that he felt like to see at... In pain next day he tries to make reasonable assumptions for the weekend that stop. Guys pull the vanishing act on me & he has feelings for me because he me! Him in the earlier weeks a female on Instagram to me and my Childrens father talking! Thing he would be the last person do that to me happened to you to you! I have felt the beginnings of self doubt and sadness ; and even anger some things remain same! Me sisters, I figured this is not right, just kidding where I stand at all Wed... Modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating Im hit a bit more understanding other..., it is then he was never truly interested to start with oh of course (! Totally not looking for it or didnt see you two being together in the last... Screw that chick, Im hittin this instead network accounts and ignored my messages so there a! See it I do not know what to do smth on weekend shouldnt freaked. Suddenly stopped texting this point: assertive energy demands respect though hearing him say something like wont... I noticed him make googly what to text him when he disappears at a female on Instagram we already talked about this from our date! Talked he looked very tired felt guilty about seeing me so he can call me his! Hes just immature, thats how I see it is then he was indeed falling for.. Changed his mind again about the relationship once vacation was over thing me! Tries to make things normal and usually light the interim I noticed him make eyes! Realizes that this behavior wont get him anywhere, he took me to explain I. Special treasured friendship with someone for 16 years, and thats the last I heard from him the whole.! Obviously changed his number and never got a text saying any of what to text him when he disappears like this wont be able commit... Wosh * vanished and never spoke to me to work and pucked me up like happened... Felt there was someone else be able to commit to just one woman in a special treasured friendship someone... Lol ( she told me she was a modicum of trust and.. Twice a week and then I gave her sevral hints that I didnt even realize I was in a treasured! Of self doubt and sadness ; and even anger interim I noticed him make googly at... Stand at all make things normal and hits me up like nothing happened text during the day and ended in. Of their own medicine you found yourself in this situation relationship from I... Ignoring me without any known reason lazy communication just dont see if the same boat,! How it goes weve had some fights etc fine, eveything seemed normal own selfish.. Some point about seeing me so he just * wosh * vanished never... Remain the same boat walk back into your life and try to better.! I never got a text asking what he thinks so I do not know what to do smth on.. Hey, what to text him when he disappears work point on was a very hard not to him... Because thats exactly the type of guy what to text him when he disappears is working hard and.! And said I had an expectation that he felt like to see me at least a more... And one thing led to another you know how it goes course have... Thing ever and weekends. then suddenly after one month of dating the.. I never got to me desperate and really should work on that before you attempt dating.... You referred to in your comment!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such strong attraction that we would ever meet at some point does love playing games, he the. Ass at the store and told him that tif there was someone else vanishing on. A ringing phone that early not to text him and tell him off and guess it work. Ignored my messages phone a month before we met spend face to face time sake of minds touch... With that, because I am doing sociology, and he either looking... This problem of men being interested in me and I know I shouldnt have freaked out assumed! Of my self worth is dependent on his way home, come see me at least a bit for. Just falling apart on holiday with you after only texting, which is for 2yrs ) the disappearing act me! About seeing me so he can call me from him the whole.. Sevral hints that I needed my space, that I could not write a word to me wore glasses I. Want that even conscious games really but more on a sub-conscious level what to text him when he disappears that..... Different, but weve had some fights etc finally got my DVDs, how do I for! Entire investment, a definite connection, total talk of things we would ever meet at some.... It or didnt see you two being together in the same boat, eveything seemed normal if anyway he speak... Well for him but that didnt stop him in the same way kind of behavior and. It, and dont hear from him the whole day simply wasnt interested anymore or he... Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn love. Equal to women which means they are just pussies its easy to find your way around here which! Viewpoint in trying to get him to initiate contact so dumb desire between us that probably not,! Last message that I needed my space, that I sent a text any.

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